The other morning, a friend (I will call this friend Sam and possibly change the gender) was sharing about a recent experience with a life coach (I will call this coach Kelly and possibly change the gender). Sam was surprised by how shallow the information had been in the class he had attended that Kelly had taught and I sensed his disappointment in the overall experience. Sam is the kind of person who dwells, normally, in the depths of spirit so for him to be surrounded by the energy of superficialness, I’m sure it was uncomfortable for him. Also, it gave Sam a unique point of view to watch Kelly in action and know that those who have hired her are being taught a very narrow path of “rightness” in the way things “need” to be done.
As I set my phone down, I had an onslaught of words come pouring into my brain so I picked my phone back up to see if I could capture them and type it out. This is what I gathered:
Those who are looking for someone to give them “their” answers instead of seeking the truth for themselves will find themselves before many false prophets. If a leader is leading through Ego, her followers must live there to match her vibration. While there, they are numb to their own soul’s cry because soul is often strangled by Ego. To truly be at peace, one’s Ego must not rule, but rather be a collaborative force.
I set my phone down and stared at it. The truth of those words gently settled in and woke up my remembering. I began to look back over all the times I had listened to others before and instead of myself when I was seeking my answers. I thought about how, when I left the LDS church, I was seeking another community to fill the gaping void left by leaving my entire life and social network all at once. I remembered finding the conscious-thinking communities and feeling like I was home.
However, even then, I was still seeking outside myself for my own answers. And, when the seeker puts the responsibility of their individual knowing upon the shoulders of the leader, the leader’s humanity eventually brings about a fall from grace for the leader, especially if the leader is out of integrity. And, in that fall from grace, there can be a disintegration of the seeker’s foundation, especially if that seeker is still hooked into the leader knowing everything for everyone.
There is power in finding your own answers through outside sources. Being able to identify if you are placing your power solely in another’s hands or if you are simply gleaning information through the education they provide is a vital pivot point. If someone else is higher than you, smarter than you, has more knowing than you, or you’re viewing them through the lens of “I gotta have what they have or get what they got or do what they do” then you are in Ego.
Granted, there are people who are more educated, more knowing, further down the path than you are – than I am. These are the teachers, the masters, the leaders, the trailblazers, and they are in those positions because they do know more, see more, have experienced more than you or I. And it is these people that are here to lead you, not do for you.
A word of caution… if you come across any leader who says anything akin to, “It’s my way or the highway” then be wary. If you are told, “My way is the right way,” be wary. These are leaders who are leading through Ego and that form of leadership will lead you down their path of rightness, not your own, unless you are able to see your own way through their examples.
Ego has earned a bad rep. Many veins of thought out there are “kill the ego, get rid of the ego, the ego is b-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-d!” I disagree. Your Ego is what has kept you alive to this point. That is the main job of your ego – to keep you alive. So, feel grateful for this beautiful gift. And then, learn to understand that your Ego is doing what it can to keep you safe and alive and there are messages within the Ego, but it doesn’t have to be the boss.
Truly, you DO have all your own answers. Your Soul knows. Learn the voice of your Ego and the voice of your Soul and then enjoy their song. They’re always speaking and when you are learning from another person, check in to see… am I hearing my Soul right now?