In the Light or In the Dark
A few days ago, I wrote about these perpetual movement creatures that we have sitting in our kitchen window and their funny quirks I have noticed. Last night, as I was preparing dinner, I glanced at them staring forlornly out the window at the black night. They were still as could be since their energy source, the sun, was no longer shining.
For a moment, I felt weird. I stared at them and actually even reached up and nudged the daisy so she would dance. She moved vigorously for 3 seconds, bumped into motion by the force of my finger, then she slowed to a stop. I so wanted them to move, but they couldn’t because they had no energy.
Like a crash of thunder, the epiphany rolled through me… they couldn’t move because their source of energy had been removed.
I suddenly saw the deeper reason of why I’ve been amused by and attracted to these little knick-knacks. They are a reminder of who I used to be… someone who relied on others to power my life. I looked outside of me for all of my answers. Everyone knew better than me. God was outside of me and “up there,” out of reach. I continued to reach and reach for Him, knowing that He had all the answers that I needed. I looked to others to inspire me and change me and love me. I looked to others for them to decide what I should do, would do, could do, and they also knew my attitude with which all that should and would occur. Everyone was my source, but that everyone did not include me. I wasn’t part of the solutions – any of the solutions – for anything in my life. It was the ultimate form of co-dependency. I depended on everyone else to live my life. I couldn’t do it without them.
The only thing I remember being able to do of my own accord was dance. I didn’t look to others to continue to tell me how to do it. I watched my teachers, I listened to them only and then I moved. I was confident I could do that on my own, once I learned the steps. And I learned them fast so that I could do it on my own. It was the only place I felt continual joy, love, peace. Do you know why? It was because *I* was the source of that experience. It came from within me. No one was telling me what to do. I was open to learning from someONE who had training and experience with the steps and then I made them my own. They became part of my cells, part of my beliefs, part of my Knowing.
When you rely on an outside source to fuel your life, you’re putting yourself in a precarious position. At any given moment, that source can be taken away from you and then you are unable to stand on your own because you have not trusted yourself to do so. You haven’t built your self-trust, self-understanding, self-love because others have been the source to which you have directed your trust and love and from whom you have sought understanding of yourself.
When I talk about “God,” I am talking about my experience of my Higher Power. I refer to “God” as a male figure, but I have come to understand this Higher Power as being the balance of both male and female. I use the word “God” to speak to that power which I feel at the center of my life, within every cell in my body, within every molecule I breathe, and within all that I can see, feel, hear, touch, and taste. God is all that is and all that isn’t, always is and ever-present. That is my experience of God.
Your relationship with “God” is a highly personal experience. Whether you believe in a Heavenly Father figure, a “man in the sky,” a Goddess, a plethora of gods, science, or nothing at all, it is your experience. It comes from within you. Many religions teach that “God” is someone for whom you must continually reach, meaning that the deity is outside of you. I am writing this to invite you to be open to the possibility of a deeper truth.
You were created. Even if you view your beginnings through a purely scientific lens, you know that there was a moment of creation of your actual physical self. No matter how you choose to view your beginnings, you are a miracle. The magnificent scientific moments of sperm meeting egg, merging, and then splitting are nothing short of miraculous. Your creation is nothing short of miraculous. Your source of creation is within you. It is in your DNA. It is in your cells. It is in your memories. You. Are. A Miracle. That is inside you. That is you.
When the source of all that you are is within you then there is no need to rely on anyone else to power your life. And this does not detract from your relationship with the God of your understanding because it is your relationship with that Source, your God. You have all the answers within you. You have all you need because you are your Source. You are your Creator.
And, when you begin to understand this, you truly become a perpetual motion being all on your own. Your life becomes rich and abundant. Grace abounds. Love is everywhere. And you are fully connected to those who match you.
That is my hope for you, my friend. Find your Source within and let the Light shine. It is powerful beyond belief!