In the silence, I sit and hear myself breathing. I soak in the sound of nothingness and sigh with relief. This is the first time in almost four weeks that I have been alone. It is the first time that there hasn’t been someone in the room with me, some sound blasting from some electronic device, voices, and general cacophony. I have so enjoyed the laughter and the sounds and the messes and the food and the people all around in every moment. I have felt enriched and uplifted, loved and overflowing, satisfied and abundant. I’ve laughed until my belly hurt and played until I couldn’t breathe. I’ve stayed up late and woken up early to begin yet again. I’ve cried and I’ve sang and I’ve danced and I’ve played some more. I’ve driven countless miles to be with people I adore and to laugh some more with them. Every moment for the last four weeks has been filled to the brim with love.
I feel a little disoriented in the silence.
Interesting thing is, I have loads of work I could be doing for clients. I could have chosen to stay in town, hang out at a coffee shop, or go to see a couple different friends. I could be doing laundry or cleaning or organizing. I could be preparing for school that starts next week or writing out a plan for the year or even dream building.
There are a myriad of things I could be doing and none of it sounds satisfying because… it is silent and still.
And, today, that is what I need to focus on.
So, I am.