Sharing (13)

~Time With Me~

I’ve spent about a decade cultivating a relationship with myself and I believe the very first thing I was invited to do was carve out time for myself. I also remember the confusion when I first heard the statement, “Angie, you’ve got to love yourself more.” I didn’t understand what that meant at all. It seemed silly, really, that someone would think that I wasn’t loving myself “enough.” But, in hindsight, I see it clearly.

In learning what it meant to love me and what it meant to have “me time,” I discovered that “me time” is a perception. In the beginning, I chose to set aside specific time wherein I could do what *I* craved to do in that time. More often than not, I found that sort of planned “me time” getting filled up with all the stuff I had been putting off because everything else was so much more important, but it wasn’t stuff that lit me up or helped me feel more loving toward myself. It was stuff like organizing that pile that has been bugging me for forever or sorting through the closet and releasing clothes that no longer fit or were worn out. It was the odds and ends that I just never had time to get to so, in essence, I was still getting done stuff I wanted to get done but it wasn’t really focusing on me.

This happened for awhile and then, slowly, I discovered that these little projects had been holding me back from seeing myself. They were a shield, of sorts and hid me from myself – and everyone else. So, while I thought I was “doing it wrong” because I wasn’t filling my “me time” with projects that lit me up, but was, instead, filling that time with projects that needed completing. One thing I learned through this was that series of completions opened space for me where I could begin to breathe easy again and see more clearly the ways I wanted to be with myself. They were the things that had been holding space in my mind and energy, things that were a constant drain on my attention because they were incomplete.

Another thing I learned was getting complete is one of the most loving acts I can do for myself because it allows me to become more fully present with the here and now, which is truly the point of all of this. It also was a very beneficial way for me to use my “me time” because it created a continual practice of completion, which built trust in myself and upon that trust, I could build love.

Additionally, I began to look at each and every moment as the opportunity to love myself more fully. Chances to glance in the mirror and smile at myself, appreciating the beauty that I had refused to see for most of my life. Chances to appreciate myself. Chances to be with me no matter what I am doing. “Me time” has become every single moment as I have focused on loving myself fully and embracing my divine nature, to bring that to full fruition and to honor myself and my Creator by being ME!

Now, I dedicate my energy to focusing on loving me in this moment and the next. As a result, doing the dishes has become “me time” as I relish the feeling of the water, the smell of the soap, the sound of the rag wiping the plate. Doing laundry has become an opportunity to infuse my clothing with the essence of love. And then, when I have the opportunity to go walking on my own, I focus on love with every step. When I do art, it is an act of love. When I write, it is love in words. When I dance, it is love in motion.

My entire life is “me time” and a gift that I embrace with so much overflowing love.

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