Quiet of the Morning
After a long, holiday weekend, life is getting back to the normal swing of things. Well, almost normal. It was only 4:15 when I woke up. What in the heck is that about??? I’m looking forward to this day as it will be a day of forward movement. I made a decision, after several months of pondering, praying and crying, to close my healing sanctuary and today is the day that I pack it up. I had to get past the notion that doing so was “quitting” and have finally come to the place where I can realize that it is actually releasing me so that I’m able to breathe and create and stop worrying about how I’m going to pay an excessive lease. There are other options opening up… offices where I pay by the hour, rather than being strapped to a monthly lease and that feels more delicious to me. It has been one of the most difficult things I’ve done, this decision to close my sanctuary. Part of me is sad and, at the same time, part of me feels relief. It opens space for curiosity.
Today, I am appreciating… * that there are some things that make me smile without fail… several of those things happen to be 80’s music… “Give me a “HO” if you’ve got your funky bus fare! HO!” LOL * for the last three nights in a row, just after drifting off to sleep, I have had this experience of the sensation of a presence in my room, hovering above me in the same place. I wake up and start mumbling to my daughter about how amazing it is to be able to “see.” I realized I was doing that last night and when my daughter sleepily mumbled, “Mom, I think we are the only ones in this room. There is no one here with us,” I protested a bit, blinked a couple times and then the apparition disappeared as I came more fully awake. Kaitlyn said, “Now, just get some sleep and stop bugging me.” I apologized and giggled, rolling over to sleep. Giggling myself to sleep is a great way to fall to sleep * planning for today’s show and collecting data about ARKs * laughing with my family * the feel of D-Box seats in a movie theater – although we didn’t sit in them this weekend when we saw the new “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, we were near them and the sensation of the floor trembling from their movement was pretty cool * being excited about homework * the fact that I woke up an hour earlier than I “have” to wake up and I still feel fully awake.
I am in love with my life.