Recently, I’ve experienced a lot of transitions in my relationships… a lot of “goodbyes.” I’ve experienced friends choosing to no longer be friends and random people saying goodbye, for no apparent reason. As the numbers mounted, I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change my deodorant or something. Eventually, I began to chalk it up to it being a sign of the times… everything is changing and sometimes, to move forward, it requires me saying goodbye to something I thought would be a part of my life for a lot longer than it has been.
Tonight I was talking about my current pattern of frequent “goodbye” with a dear friend who has just recently reentered my life.
She said, “Angie, maybe life is like a closet.”
I laughed right out loud and said, “Say more.”
She went on, “Look. Sometimes closets get really full, like bursting at the seams. And then we see something that we really like but say to ourselves that we can’t buy the new thing because there is no room in the closet. Then something happens. Either we lose weight or gain weight or clothes wear out or we outgrow the style. Whatever, suddenly, there’s room in the closet and there’s space for something new to come in. As I see it, where you are right now in your life is the place where your closet is cleaning itself out for new stuff.”
That analogy made perfect sense to me because, as I look at my life, I’m seeing people step up visibly in my life who have not participated before. New friends are showing up. Friends who were on the periphery of my world are coming closer to the center. And people with whom I have wanted to have closer relationships are showing up saying they want the same with me.
So, as my closet empties out, I feel grateful that it is truly making space for new things. It is not as if I have consciously chosen to empty my closet purposely to make way for new, improved relationships. It’s just happening. And the bonus results are that there are new relationships revealing themselves.
Life is a continual cycle and the blessing is in learning to be graceful about that cycle. While goodbye may not always be easy, it really is a door opening to something new.
© Angie K. Millgate 2/14/10