Death is an interesting leveler of playing grounds. It makes every one of us equal, in that it does not pay attention to race, creed, gender, age, education level, or financial class. It merely comes when it is time, takes the person whose time it is, and leaves behind those whose time it was not. In times like this, it has been found that, often times, the thoughts and questions of one “survivor” are much the same as the next…
Why them instead of me? Why did this happen? How do I understand this? How am I going to go on without them?
If the person who travelled on with Death was still young and vibrant, there is a deeper level of angst added to the experience. These “survivors” often are thinking (or speaking) things like…
But they were SO YOUNG! I shouldn’t have to bury my child. They had so much of life ahead of them.
Yes, Death is a common experience that each human will go through. And, although Death comes to everyone, and even though there can be found many common themes of thought and word, there is no way to understand what each individual is going through in their experience of death.
Throughout my life, I have also witnessed another way that Death levels the playing ground. The state of mourning the passing of a beloved is the perfect opportunity for Victims to wail and gnash their teeth loudly and incessantly, not as a way to mourn and grieve, but rather as a way to pull attention to themselves and away from the situation at hand. The parade of Victims calls in those who are most comfortable as Villains, giving them opportunity to lay into the Victims and victimize them further. And then the Heroes, in beautiful shining armor, come in to save the day. The dance around the Ego-Try-Angle is nearly unstoppable in a group of people that come together, day after day after day, to mourn and plan the services of their loved one who has walked off this dimension while holding hands with Death.
As I have spent the last 40+ hours trying to believe the utterly unbelievable tale of Kels and Garrett, however, another thing I’ve noticed is… Death intensifies natural compassion, caring, nurturing, loving. It levels the playing field because everyone in that space realizes that everyone in that space is there because of the common denominator: Someone I love has died. Great acts of kindness and gentleness fill the space. There is a lot of hugging, a lot of caressing, a lot of soft pats on the back, a lot of gentle smiles. Each person becomes a tender holder of space for all the others in the room.
The death of Garrett, Kelsey, and Sage has taught me that Love truly does prevail. It has shown me how living a life committed to being fully alive and vibrant, loving those around you, and giving selflessly to humanity – and the animal kingdom – creates waves of unending Love. I’ve witnessed the global effect created by Garrett and Kelsey’s love, combined with Kelsey’s mother’s magnanimous commitment to Love and Joy and how these three beings have moved the world with their love. From all over the planet, I have watched as Love has poured in to this space where “survivors” are mourning the loss of their beloveds. I have watched as this Love has filled this space and overflowed out into the world to grow and move and fill other spaces. I’ve watched as it has ignited a movement of Love, understanding, and compassion.
That is what Life is about. And, sometimes, just sometimes, Death leads the way.